Two bits of good news here - firstly I have recently purchased a massive HD television, meaning that I can see Lord Alan's entire potholed mush with the same awe that I'm sure Galileo had when he first pointed his telescope at the moon. Secondly, the producers have REALLY gone all out to find some proper detestable bastards to dance for our amusement.
It's a bit stranger this year though as somehow they have managed to find people who are so annoying and hateful that they manage to go all the way round the hate circle and land back on loveable and misunderstood. Edward for example - he is clearly the thickest person to ever appear on the show and yet somehow blagged his way into the PM role on the task. He then dispensed with all planning and proceeded to buy a shitload of oranges and shout "C'MON! C'MON! DO IT!" much to the irritation of the rest of the boys' team. He eventually fell victim to Alan's smell-my-finger gesture and fucked off back to the clinic he escaped from, but rather than do my usual "YESS! TAKE SOME OF THAT YOU MUG" celebration I actually felt a bit sad for him. He was apparantly ashamed of being an accountant and wated nothing more than to be a business man. "Be proud of who you are" was the underlying message as he got into the back of a cab and was driven to the abatoir, bringing a solemn feel to prceedings.
Then it cuts back to the rest of the cunts and we remember that we've got another 8 or so weeks of this.
My pick to win is the crazy inventor chap. He was commended by Lord Moneybags as saying "the only intelligent thing I've heard all day" (a day we can assume included several conversations with BBC producers) and has the look of a man who may do something mental at the drop of a hat. When he said "the problem was there was no plan" I sort of expected him to then say "and so I have invented this planning machine, capable of planning a plan faster than a plan can be planned by a planner" and then producing something made from a styrophome cup, some blu-tac and a chopstick. He'll win.
Laugh of the show came when Lord Scrooge McDuck said "I'm an expert in technology". As Nathan said to me on Twitter shortly afterwards: "I googled that shite fax phone he made after he said that, couldn't be found. All traces have been destroyed."
But I did manage to rustle up a picture from the depths of somewhere or other.
The man is truly a technological expert.
All in all, 89 stars. Go inventor fella, and lets all hope Melody stops talking and starts removing clothing ASAP.
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