Pointless. We're all doomed
The world collectively nervously swallowed last week when a mad old man in the States predicted the end of civilisation as we know it. He predicted the Rapture - i.e the return of Jesus, the saving of all who are faithful to the word of God and the subsequent 5 months of hell on Earth until society comes abruptly to a close. His proof for these terrifying claims came when he noticed a mathematical algorithm within the New Testament which pointed at Saturday May 21st as a significantly disastrous day for mankind. He was laughed out of the mainstream media in virtually all major outlets in every country on Earth, BUT REPENT UNBELIEVERS! Just as atheists all over the globe sat back in their sofas and smugly grinned, The Only Way Is Essex managed to bag the Audience Award Bafta and the world as we know it started to collapse around our very ears.
Now I don't really mind TOWIE. It's harmless enough, and that mad old lady makes me giggle a bit. But a fucking Bafta? On the same night Sir Trevor McDonald picked up one for lifetime achievement? If I were him i would have immediately ran outside and hurled the statuette into the Thames.
Insult/injury comes in the form of HOW they pulled this off. This is the only award voted for by the public. Fuck you, public. Having said that though I reckon Nate, Chris and I could bag ourselves a host of awards with the following pitches:
The Only Way Is Baghdad
The Only Way Is Michael Winner
The Only Way Is My Big Fat Gypsy Tron: Legacy
IT'S IN THE BAG!
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